Proppertyof
10-13-2008, 04:44 PM
1 - There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
2 - If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3 - A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4 - If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing a superman cape.
5 - It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
6 - Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
7 - You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
8 - When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
9 - The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
10 - When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh" it's already too late.
11 - A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
12 - A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
13 - If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.
14 - A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
15 - Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
16 - Duplos will not.
17 - Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
18 - Super glue is forever.
19 - McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
20 - No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
21 - Pool filters do not like Jello.
22 - VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
23 - Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
24 - Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
25 - Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
26 - Plastic toys do not like ovens.
27 - The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
28 - It will however make cats dizzy.
29 - Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
30 - Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
31 - A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
2 - If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3 - A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4 - If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing a superman cape.
5 - It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
6 - Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
7 - You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
8 - When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
9 - The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
10 - When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh" it's already too late.
11 - A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
12 - A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
13 - If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.
14 - A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
15 - Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
16 - Duplos will not.
17 - Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
18 - Super glue is forever.
19 - McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
20 - No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
21 - Pool filters do not like Jello.
22 - VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
23 - Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
24 - Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
25 - Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
26 - Plastic toys do not like ovens.
27 - The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
28 - It will however make cats dizzy.
29 - Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
30 - Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
31 - A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).