and the women are laying down their cards will they do it?

[short]

Dating ------------- Married

Farting is never an issue -------------------- You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

He takes you out to have a good time ------------------------- He brings home a 6 pack and says, “What are you going to drink?”

He holds your hand in public ---------------------------- He flicks your ear in public.

A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad ------------------------ A King size bed feels like an Army cot.

You are turned on at the sight of him naked ------------------------- You think to yourself…. “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”

You enjoyed foreplay ------------------------- You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”

He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason ---------------------- He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

You picture the two of you together, growing old ---------------------------------- You wonder who will die first.

Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy” ------------------------- When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

He knows what the “hamper” is ------------------------ The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

He understands if you “aren’t in the mood” ---------------------------------------- He says, “It’s your job.”

He understands that you have “male” friends ----------------------------- He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

He likes to “discuss” things ----------------------- He develops a “blank” stare.

He calls you by name --------------------------- He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”

[short]

What women want in a man, Original List (age 22)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man, Revised list (age 32)

1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man, Revised list (age 42)

1. Not too ugly - bald head okay
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends

What women want in a man, Revised list (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm talking
5. Doesn't re-tell same jokes too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends

What women want in a man, Revised list (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10.Remembers when...

What women want in a man, Revised list (age 72)
1. Breathing--